The Victim Mentality

We all have people in our lives who have problems and are looking to blame them on someone else. This is called the victim mentality. People who are like this have usually been wounded early in life by a significant person or persons. As a result, they have adopted a passive approach to life and don't take responsibility for their own behavior or situation.

When you have agoraphobia, it is easy to slip into a victim mentality. It is easy to adopt a fatalistic mindset that you are powerless to do anything about recovery or making your life better. It is easy to start blaming other people for your condition.

Do not do this!

One of the keys to recovery from agoraphobia is taking responsibility for your own life. Maybe your parents scarred you emotionally. Maybe you have experienced a traumatic event that brought on panic attacks. Maybe you are in a relationship with someone who is abusive, overly controlling, jealous, or smothering.

No matter how someone has wounded you in the past, it is your responsibility to recover from agoraphobia and take control of your life. No one else can do this for you. You don't have to get other people to change to recover. It is your own thinking and behavior that you must change.

I would not be writing this if I had not suffered from agoraphobia myself - and recovered. Believe me, there are always people and circumstances to blame for your disorder - but no one has a perfect upbringing or perfect life circumstances. If you are in the mindset that someone else or something else needs to change for you to recover from agoraphobia, you may never.

Recovery is about acting on your environment - not allowing your environment to act on you. Recovery from agoraphobia is something that lies within your power, no matter how hopeless you may feel right now.

Its just about deciding to do the things that work (desensitization, changing irrational thinking, breathing and muscle relaxation exercises, visualization, etc..) , and doing them as if it were a second religion.

Nobody can do this for you but you.