How to Provide Support for Someone with Agoraphobia During a Panic Attack

If you are with someone with agoraphobia and they start to have a panic attack, you can be a major help or a major hindrance. Here are some tips on how to be a major help.

First, ask ahead of time what the person would prefer you to do during a panic attack. Some people like to be left alone to concentrate on using their own strategies to get through it. Some people like to be talked to or touched. Knowing your friend or loved one's preferences is the first step toward being able to help during panic.

If the person with agoraphobia would like you to talk them through a panic attack, ask them specifically what types of things he or she would like you to say. If they cannot tell you, here are some good ideas:

1) Validate their emotions. Tell them that you are sorry they are experiencing the anxiety or panic. Let them know that you are acknowledging how they feel without judging them. Whatever you do, don't try to use logic or reason to tell them why they shouldn't be anxious. This is the opposite of validating someone's feelings and can make the other person feel stupid for feeling anxious and lets them know you don't get it.

2) Let them know you will stay with them. The presence of a "safe" person with whom the person is familiar and trusts is very comforting to most people during a panic attack. Sometimes its not what you say to the person having the panic attack, but just that you are there with them that makes the difference.

3) Remind them that panic, hyperventilation, and the other physical sensations felt during panic are not dangerous and that they are sure to live through the panic attack. Its good if you read up on the different sensations people feel during panic so you can address them. For example, a person may say they are feeling tingling in their hands and feet during a panic attack and ask if you should take them to a doctor. Knowing ahead of time that tingling sensations are a common physiological response to hyperventilation might give you the confidence to let them know what they are feeling is normal during panic - and keep you from wondering if your friend or loved one might be having a heart attack, stroke, or something dangerous.

If your friend or loved one with agoraphobia says they like to be touched during panic attacks then putting a hand on their shoulder or back, or even holding their hand until the panic subsides can be of great comfort.

Another idea is to lead the person away from the situation or place that triggered the panic and help them get somewhere safe. This may mean guding them out of a crowded restaraunt and helping them get to the car to calm down. It might mean leaving an event in the middle and driving them home.

People with agoraphobia really appreciate it when someone understands enough to help them out of the feared situation and get to a safe place without criticizing, judging, trying to talk them out of the panic, or asking lots of questions.

When you are helping someone with agoraphobia out of a situation that has induced a panic attack it is best to hold your comments and questions until later. Most people cannot think during a panic attack and having to listen to someone else's opinions or being faced with questions will only annoy the person having the panic attack, or cause them to start arguing with you.

Like I said before, trying to talk them out of the panic with reason or logic will just invalidate their feelings. Its unrealistic to expect a person having the panic to think rationally.

Whatever happens, stay calm and try to practice the things I just discussed. Speak in low, soothing tones and move using gentle, slow motions. The best thing a person can have during a panic atack is the presence of a calm role model who cares for them.