Top Ten Ways to Support Someone with Agoraphobia

Here are ten ways to be a healthy support person for someone with agoraphobia (written by a recovered agoraphobic):

1) Offer unconditional acceptance

This means being non-judgmental and non-critical. It means not thinking of agoraphobia and the behaviors that go with it in terms of good and bad or right and wrong. It means not putting the person down or voicing disapproval when they do things you don't understand. It means letting the person know that you love them, care about them, and will not abandon them whether or not they recover from agoraphobia.

2) Practice active listening

Hear and validate the person's feelings or emotions by making reflective statements to let them know that you heard and understood.

3) Increase your knowledge and understanding by reading about agoraphobia

Read all you can about agoraphobia and listen to the person who is suffering about their experience. Don't assume you know what they are going through.

4) Help the person find a motivation to recover

Help them find a purpose greater than their fear. This is one of the most important factors in anyone's recovery - discovering a reason for living that makes fear irrelevant. Discuss their dreams and fantasies with them. Draw out their desires. Engage them in discussions about their skills and interests and what would bring them the most satisfaction in life.

5) Reward their progress and accomplishments no matter how small

Recovery is usually made in a lot of little steps. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to gain just a little ground and its easy for someone with agoraphobia to get discouraged at the pace of recovery. Verbal praise and other rewards for taking even small steps forward can be very encouraging and keep a person motvated to keep pressing forward.

6) Show patience when the person makes mistakes or suffers a setback

Setbacks are a part of almost every recovery and are not intentional on the part of the sufferer. Setbacks, no matter how bad they seem are usually temporary. In most cases, setbacks only become major or prolonged when the person with agoraphobia blows them out of proportion in his or her mind (catastrophizing) and perceives them as worse than they are. By showing patience and not getting upset when your friend or loved one experiences a setback (and by not blaming them), you can help them perceive setbacks as minor and keep them from slowing down the person's recovery more than necessary.

7) Respect the person's autonomy.

If you are helping guide someone's recovery from agoraphobia, make suggestions and offer options, but always leave the decisions to the sufferer. Giving the person freedom to choose will help him or her gain a sense of control over his or her own life - which is so desperately needed to recover.

8) Keep your word always

Let the person with agoraphobia know what they can expect from you and follow through at all times. The sufferer really needs to trust you and feel safe in your presence. Agoraphobia is all about fear and people with agoraphobia and panic attacks are usually very insecure. Having a safe person they can trust helps build the security they need. So don't promise more than you can do and always keep your word.

9) Show confidence in their ability to handle their own life

Don't get into doing everything for a person with agoraphobia. Challenge them to try things they think they can't do. The more you show confidence in the person's ability to handle things, the more likely they are to gain confidence of their own.

10) Take care of yourself

To be a good support person, you need to stay rested and model good self-care habits. Don't make your whole life revolve around the person with agoraphobia. Keep up with interests, social activities, and relationships that don't have anything to with helping your friend or loved one recover from agoraphobia. Learn your limits and don't try to do more than you can do. Be able to say no when you aren't able to help anymore and don't be afraid to ask someone else to help you when you need to rest so your patience and energy need to be revitalized.